How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize