Christians are straight up FREAKS
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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