Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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