How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
