Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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