Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
