Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
