The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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