i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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