My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
