The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
