There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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