So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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