I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
