So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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