the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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