I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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