Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Text me some of your sweat
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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