Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
soo... how was my night?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
