This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
