also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
