woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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