Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
