In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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