I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize