New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
