Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
