I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
