i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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