I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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