i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
