In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
