for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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