Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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