so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
love makes seman taste better
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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