whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
