Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
