After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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