Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
