I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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