just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
