haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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