laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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