Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
