I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
