They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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