god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
