we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
