yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
