you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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