So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Boobs speak an international language.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
