"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Randomize
