I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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