you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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