no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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