I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
