well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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