Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize