dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
