This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted