It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
