before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.