Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
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Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail