It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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