I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
