I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
