my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
