Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
